Clear It With Sidney

Notes on journalism for the common good, by Lindsay Beyerstein

Arrests in $18 Million Maple Syrup Heist

Maple syrup might be the world’s least liquid liquid asset, but somebody came up with an intricate plan to steal $18 million worth of the precious golden fluid beloved of Canadians. The bounty was taken from the industry’s Fort Knox: A Quebec warehouse controlled by the Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve, the cartel that determines how much Canadian maple syrup flows onto the world market.

The heist sparked months of fevered speculation among Canadians, Canadian expats, and hypoglycemics everywhere. Who stole the syrup? Was it a band of hoser ninjas? The RCMP? Jealous Vermonters? After an extended investigation, police finally think they know the answer, but they’re still not naming names. They say the suspects set themselves up as maple syrup dealers in the freewheeling province of New Brunswick and sold it to unsuspecting Americans at full price.

 

[Photo credit: Jemasmith, Creative Commons.]